Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Why I didn't sleep soundly last night.

dear wild animal,
allow me to repeat myself, dear WILD animal, you are wild. animals that are wild, usually live in the wild and not under my house as you have found it a good idea to do. neither my husband nor i appreciate your midnight scratchings as you claw your way up into our shower cavity no doubt building a nest and spreading your filthy germs all over our crawl space. equally unappreciative is our four month old son who, like us, does not appear overjoyed when the stench of your den is wafting into our bathroom and by extension all our bedrooms. please go back to where you belong. we're pretty sure you're a skunk, so we'd like it if you left quietly and pardon the pun, didn't make a stink.
the homeowner


kelly said...

hi, i am a member of PETA, and i am writing to scold you for your disregard of this skunk family's feelings. you should feel honored to live so close to such majestic creatures. their smell is only unnacceptable to you because you are not a part of their culture. to say that they are "wild" and "smell bad" and "spread germs" is so species-ist. if you could just embrace the skunks, and accept them for who they are, without projecting your ideas of "hygiene" and "need for sleep" on them, the world would be a better place.